The show opened with the girls being given the news from Chris Harrison that a) this week there will be one one-on-one date, one group date, and one two-on-one date. Also, they are leaving the house in the hour forever! And their new home will be: two RVs, which are parked out front.
Ali, Tenley, and three others go in one, whereas Vienna, Gia, Cory and someone else go in the other.
The first stop is a winery, where they meet Jake. It didn't occur to any of the girls to get pretty or put on cute clothes while in the RVs, so they're kind of slovenly. Jake asks how they feel about camping, and points out that he has his own tent over there - and Vienna steps up and says she loves camping, "We talked about this," and hugs him, which pisses everyone off. Jake hands Gia a card, which turns out to be the one-on-one date card, for her.
Vienna in the confessional: Jake's a Southern boy, Gia's a New Yorker. I don't think this is going to work.
Jake shaves, Gia gets ready. He's not sure how he feels about her yet, or what to expect from a city girl in the middle of a vineyard. She's getting a bit fancy for such a country setting, but it's her first one-on-one with him, so she's psyched.
Vienna: she is totally wrong for him! It's not going to work. (Hey Vienna, this is the ONLY person in the house who's nice to you, so STFU.)
Jake and Gia play hide and seek among the grapes. "Feels like the beginning of a fairy tale" to Jake. They have a picnic on a blanket and she admits to being a nerd in school, and getting her bookbag stolen all the time. He admits he never had a date because he was too shy. She admits her first kiss was horrible and happened during a game of spin the bottle. They finish a bottle of wine and agree to play right then. Mwuablauhyuahbluah.
The other girls decide to act like coyotes and howl. ? Then they get the group date card. That includes everyone except Gia (obviously), Ella, and Kathryn (who will be the two-on-one date later, and now are very tense, because one of them is definitely going home).
Jake and Gia have a nice time at his tent. He asks what she imagines it would be like if she's the one he picks, and she says a long engagement, marriage for a few years before kids, two kids of their own and an adopted girl from China. She has smores in her hair.
He's impressed that the city girl was totally down with hot dogs and smores and not a diva about it, and all was sweet with them. In her confessional, she throws all her hair over one shoulder and says she hasn't felt like this in "a year and a half," which kind of took the wind out of it for me, I'll admit it.
Group date time - Vienna is glad to be on a date with him, but not a GROUP date, because "He's my boyfriend" so why are the others there? but whatever. They drive dune buggies. Ali calls shotgun with him. Vienna in the confessional: do what you like, because I'm the one that's going to marry him.
Jake ends up having a great time with...TENLEY while sandboarding (snowboarding on the sand).
Then he wants to roll down the hill, but the only one willing to do that is...CORY. She has decided it's time to piss or get off the pot, and he's glad she's opening up.
They get to this inn, and the girls clean up (one claims she's glad she's "finally" getting a real shower after the RV...um you've been in that RV for a DAY) and he starts the one-on-one process. It starts with Ashleigh. She's all up in his business, laying it on way thick. He notices how smoking she is, but in the confessional he says he has no chemistry with her. She tells him she should get the rose. He goes back out and tries to take Vienna next, but she wants to go LAST. Waah-waaaaaaaaaaaaah.
So he takes Ali, who again mentions how hard it is to show affection when there are so many others around. She asks what he's thinking about, going into the rose ceremony. He says he's not worried about it, he's counting the moment. I personally feel like she's starting to screw it up.
Back at the other RV, Chris has sent a card saying, two girls, one rose, one stays, one goes. Cold-blooded!
Ella starts boo-hooing.
Jake's one-on-one-ing with Tenley, wanting to make sure she's over her ex-husband. He was a policeman; another girl started working there, Tenley learned it through phone bills. She hasn't dated since then, but that doesn't make Jake nervous. He's lying in her lap. He smooches her. He sits up and smooches her.
Here comes VIENNA. Duh, duh, Dunhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
The girls muse about whether they think she'll go home...Vienna schemes about how being last could get her the rose. Jake tells her he thinks she brings on the ire of the other girls, and "sometimes it's better just to not say anything." Vienna wants to know if there's anything else they can talk about, what else he thinks about her. He tells her to wait and see, but tells the confessional he sees red flags.
Rose time: he wants to give it to someone he may have ignored in the beginning, and tonight he's giving it to Tenley, thanking her for being patient.
Cory is frustrated. Ashleigh is shocked, thinking that Tenley is too bubbly.
DRIVING UP THE COAST AGAIN
Ella is concerned about the two-on-one date, as Kathryn will be there and this will be kind of miserable. They get to Big Sur, and Jake welcomes everyone. Ella and Kathryn pack and prepare. Ella's really worried about the Kathryn factor, whereas Kathryn just mentions in her confessional that she thinks he could be her soul mate.
Jake wants to open his heart to them in an intimate dinner in his cabin; Ella starts the conversation asking him what he's looking for; he answers and asks what she wants. As she's speaking, Kathryn interrupts rudely but backs off and allows Ella to speak. Then he takes Ella outside for some private time. He says he loves Ethan (her son) but she tells him she is more than just a mom, and she's a whole package. And he tells her that the reason she's there tonight is that if he isn't sure about her, he doesn't want to keep her from Ethan.
Kathryn gets alone time now...he's been wanting to talk to her all night. (Mind you, she's pissed off, because she feels like he never pays any attention to her.) She spends her entire alone time bitching at him for holding back, and he says that she is so beautiful, he is being cautious. She claims that they have a great start together but it has progressed slowly in some ways and faster in others. I don't know what she's talking about, I've never seen them together, adn if I did, it's so forgettable, *poof*! Be gone.
He sends Ella home. Why did they even cast her? All they did was regurgitate last year's single mother episode - completely ridiculous. Bad bad bad. At least Jason and Stephanie had some chemistry last year. Or seemed to? Or something? This is a joke.
She tells him, "Be wise in who you choose," and gets into the waiting limo. He whispers, "Thank you, Ella," exhales, and goes back into the cabin. Tells Kathryn there were a lot of things she said, and that she is going to meet a guy that's going to sweep her off her feet, and he wants to be that guy, but his heart is telling him he's not that guy.
BOO-YAH, he sends her home too. "I thought I had a rose...I mean, did anyone see that coming at all? I don't get it."
The other girls see the luggage of both ladies disappearing, and start to cry.
Ella is "hoping Jake doesn't crash and burn, and makes the right decisions, because if he doesn't...God help him."
Very dramatic music. Cue Jake tossing the rose into the fire.
Now they're at a big white mansion. They prepare for the rose ceremony. Jake takes Corrie, which is the right way to spell her name, for some private time. She is jokey and fun. He makes her promise to keep opening up, she says it's a deal. He comes back and grabs Ali, and brings her outside, and she says she thinks he did the honorable thing by letting both Ella and Kathryn go last night and admits she's falling for him, and he's so happy and kisses her and says sometimes they don't even have to say anything (and you know all is well with them) and it's all good. He goes back in and gets Jessie, and she tells him Vienna is bad for him and crashes cars and her daddy pays for it. He appreciates hearing that. He takes Vienna outside and she doesn't want him to listen to all those other girls and wants to know what his friends and family will think about her. You can tell that he finally thinks she's batshit.
ROSE CEREMONY:
So, Tenley and Gia already have roses. Ali and Corrie get roses. Vienna, Ashleigh, and Jessie are left, and he makes them hang on. He goes to Chris Harrison and asks if he really HAS to give out two more roses or if he can send two more people home. DAMN, this dude is on a roll.
Who gets the final rose?
Who, you ask?
FREAKIN VIENNA.
Ashleigh would rather walk back to her home state than take the limo, from what I can tell.
They're going to San Francisco now. And he's falling for all of them. But the scenes from next week look GOOD.
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